Ozzy's getting fatter and so am I.It takes me five whole minutes and three easy steps to step into my jeans.
Step 1-Tuck in your stomach.
Step 2-Jump up and down, all around the room until its around your waist.Atleast one of them.
or
Step 2-Lie down on the bed and attempt some not so flexible gymnastics by lifting legs and torso.
Now for the difficult part..Getting those buttons together
Step 3-Tuck in your stomach some more.And hold your breath.And then tuck in some more.And more.And even if the ribs you thought to be non-existent pop up, tuck in some more.
Ta da!Zip up and your ready to go.
Or you can just decently go to the nearby Levi's and pick up the next size.But no..Its a prestige issue getting into those 27's or 28's.
So just hold it in, till you plan your next diet.And don't worry about the blue face.Its just temporary.

I vaguely resemble Ozzy now.I've put on a whopping six kilos over the holidays.And I can feel the extra fat slowing me down as I run to catch the bus in the morning or try hard to keep up with friends in college who invariably end up ten feet away on the way to the canteen. So I came up with an exercise routine for the Master and the Dog.I shall avoid using 'Mistress' to prevent sniggers.I was going to run with Ozzy twenty times around the house.It worked!Atleast for the first two days..

Day 1
I put Ozzy on his leash and started running.He thought we were playing running and catching and pounced on me nearly pushing me into the wall.But he caught on pretty quick.Right before he crashed into the dining room chair and slid onto the wall or ran straight into a corner and fell over his own feet.But we did the
20.Though at 7,he just sat and refused to budge.So I carried his biscuits and there came his renewed energy.When we finished,I patted up on his head and gave me a big hug after which he ignored me for the rest of the evening.

Day 2
The first two rounds went off well.On the third, he just sat.And refused to move.He didn't fall for the biscuit trick.Then he walked me over to the corner of a room where he plonked down and went to sleep.He just lay down and closed his eyes.I got the hint and wondered how I let him get the better of me.

Laziness is next to godliness.Or was that Cleanliness? Anyway Both of us have decided to embrace the fat because there's more of us to love now.

Here's to a year filled with 28 size jeans,Atkins diets and more running schedules around the dining table.
Cheers..