It's always good to write a drunken post.
Because drunken maestros like me can use words like 'maestro's' freely.
A sober me cannot handle 10 people in the apartment without the better half.Or Half. Capitalized. For respect as the position of a Husband.
Beers and Ciders I cannot keep count of.
If I can decide to capitalize the Husband and Cider within a span of three lines, there has be a problem with distinguishing areas of respect.
I realised many things I can NOT stand tonight
1) People who are jealous and who outwardly make snarky comments when they ought not to.
" You think she is pretty but when she OPENS her mouth, there are two buck teeth"
Well, I think she still looks way better than you...
2) "I'm not going to eat or drink anything. So no beer or pizza for me." At which point I sadly and cheaply said aloud, "Fine, but if I make the effort to go everything and you even have one sip or bite, I will slap your face." I didn't mean to cheap. I consider myself generous to a fault. But there are things I HATE. People who claim they are "too full" or having a "sober weekend" and think its okay to dig into alcohol and food that other people have bought. That's just rubbish. I can moderately excuse the new graduate students. But not the ones who have better jobs than me.
3) But FUCK YOU guys who think it's okay to come home and twiddle around playing the free version of Angry Birds on your phone. Really..fuck you. That's fucking antisocial and you might as well have stayed home and masturbated to free Angry Birds porn.
4) Take a fucking cab and come home if you really want to. It's not that hard to get one. And it's barely $10. For a person who worked in a bank in Chicago, I think it's kind of idiotic to be messaging me, telling me that there are no free buses. And this is the same person who I hosted in my house for a week, fed and bought dinners and drinks for. Who still has not offered a measly lunch or dinner. I don't calculate. I really don't. But when I can give you room and board and offer to buy you drinks and dinner two days in a row, I would atleast appreciate a KFC lunch. I expect. I'm older now and I do expect and I don't think that's being cheap. I think life is a give and take policy. My father who has only a billion people who love him does not believe that. He thinks I should "give and never expect." But I can't help not "expecting". Because it wears you out. People make you wonder if you're the only person in the world who is constantly offering to pay for lunch or dinner and expect nothing in return. And when that happens, do you change your friends or do you think "Am I the only idiot who thinks this way?".
And so I've decided, with family and friends I consider family, I don't expect. But the ones who are always home and don't even once call me for even a cup of coffee, you're really not worth it.
And I don't believe in this whole, "We Indians are careful and stingy about our money."
Well, I don't fall under that ridiculous middle class mentality that you have. And the sad part is, you're sucking me into it in the way I have chosen to treat you.
But really..fuck you and the $15000 you have in your savings account. And then 20 times you think about buying a $1.25 can of Coke.
So ranting on,
This is and might always be three things I hate.
Come to my apartment and be
1) Generous. Don't fucking calculate
2) Talk to people. Ask them what they do. And make decently intelligent conversation. Do not let it be dominated by "That's what she said" at the end of everything.
3) Don't be fucking insecure and constantly give a negative atmosphere in the room.
4) If you are sleepy - Don't come, or go home ASAP. Don't hang around saying "I'm tired or I'm sleepy". I fucking don't care. Or go sleep on the spare bed in my guest bedroom. Don't walk around like a bloody zombie.
5) Don't argue about rules in a silly game. Yes, the Dumb Charades we play is not as "competitive" as your "college" team, so I honestly don't give a motherfuck if we did way too many "sounds like" in one round. So fuck you and your Dumb Charade Glory Days. And then don't whine. Wait until you TRY and get TEN people to decide on ONE game and then try and play it for more than five minutes.
So really, fuck you all.
Sigh
Because drunken maestros like me can use words like 'maestro's' freely.
A sober me cannot handle 10 people in the apartment without the better half.Or Half. Capitalized. For respect as the position of a Husband.
Beers and Ciders I cannot keep count of.
If I can decide to capitalize the Husband and Cider within a span of three lines, there has be a problem with distinguishing areas of respect.
I realised many things I can NOT stand tonight
1) People who are jealous and who outwardly make snarky comments when they ought not to.
" You think she is pretty but when she OPENS her mouth, there are two buck teeth"
Well, I think she still looks way better than you...
2) "I'm not going to eat or drink anything. So no beer or pizza for me." At which point I sadly and cheaply said aloud, "Fine, but if I make the effort to go everything and you even have one sip or bite, I will slap your face." I didn't mean to cheap. I consider myself generous to a fault. But there are things I HATE. People who claim they are "too full" or having a "sober weekend" and think its okay to dig into alcohol and food that other people have bought. That's just rubbish. I can moderately excuse the new graduate students. But not the ones who have better jobs than me.
3) But FUCK YOU guys who think it's okay to come home and twiddle around playing the free version of Angry Birds on your phone. Really..fuck you. That's fucking antisocial and you might as well have stayed home and masturbated to free Angry Birds porn.
4) Take a fucking cab and come home if you really want to. It's not that hard to get one. And it's barely $10. For a person who worked in a bank in Chicago, I think it's kind of idiotic to be messaging me, telling me that there are no free buses. And this is the same person who I hosted in my house for a week, fed and bought dinners and drinks for. Who still has not offered a measly lunch or dinner. I don't calculate. I really don't. But when I can give you room and board and offer to buy you drinks and dinner two days in a row, I would atleast appreciate a KFC lunch. I expect. I'm older now and I do expect and I don't think that's being cheap. I think life is a give and take policy. My father who has only a billion people who love him does not believe that. He thinks I should "give and never expect." But I can't help not "expecting". Because it wears you out. People make you wonder if you're the only person in the world who is constantly offering to pay for lunch or dinner and expect nothing in return. And when that happens, do you change your friends or do you think "Am I the only idiot who thinks this way?".
And so I've decided, with family and friends I consider family, I don't expect. But the ones who are always home and don't even once call me for even a cup of coffee, you're really not worth it.
And I don't believe in this whole, "We Indians are careful and stingy about our money."
Well, I don't fall under that ridiculous middle class mentality that you have. And the sad part is, you're sucking me into it in the way I have chosen to treat you.
But really..fuck you and the $15000 you have in your savings account. And then 20 times you think about buying a $1.25 can of Coke.
So ranting on,
This is and might always be three things I hate.
Come to my apartment and be
1) Generous. Don't fucking calculate
2) Talk to people. Ask them what they do. And make decently intelligent conversation. Do not let it be dominated by "That's what she said" at the end of everything.
3) Don't be fucking insecure and constantly give a negative atmosphere in the room.
4) If you are sleepy - Don't come, or go home ASAP. Don't hang around saying "I'm tired or I'm sleepy". I fucking don't care. Or go sleep on the spare bed in my guest bedroom. Don't walk around like a bloody zombie.
5) Don't argue about rules in a silly game. Yes, the Dumb Charades we play is not as "competitive" as your "college" team, so I honestly don't give a motherfuck if we did way too many "sounds like" in one round. So fuck you and your Dumb Charade Glory Days. And then don't whine. Wait until you TRY and get TEN people to decide on ONE game and then try and play it for more than five minutes.
So really, fuck you all.
Sigh
1 comment:
Woah! What brought that on? However, at least now I know how not to behave around you:)
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