Hyderbad Blues

When I called my mother a few days ago, she was shopping for sarees with my younger sister.
Younger Sis-"There's this beautiful saree in peach with lovely silver work.Shall we buy it for you?"
P- "Will it look nice on my colour?"
YS- "Oh yes.I tried it on,it looks nice."
P- "Will it look nice on me?"
YS- "Uh....(Pause)....yes yes..it will."

I should have known then.

She was with me in Hyderbad later that week and I flipped through the pictures on her phone searching for my peach saree.Before I continue,I thought peach was well, an offshade of orange.I went through black,white,red and pink sarees but I couldn't find my peach.She picked up her phone and said "There's your peach saree." It was the PINK one.Now people of my colour do not wear pink, unless they have Naomi Campbell looks and confidence and can get away with just about anything or they have a very bad sense of dressing or they couldn't care less.On opening my cupboard, you will find rows of black,blue,grey..and a lone white or red.There's never been a pink.Other than my swatch that has a surprisingly Pink dial.,.I'm not a pastel shade person.People who know me have probably never seen me in pastel and my sister always looking pretty in her pinks and yellows and mauves.

I whined to my mother and told her she had an evil scheming third daughter who made herself sound so nice by buying her older sisters sarees but knowing that I would definately mine thereby passing it on to her.

Amma-"Stop whining."
P-"I'm not whining.Why is she like this?I'm going to look like an idiot.A thin gangly string of cotton candy."
Amma-"Go join a nudist colony."

Did my MOTHER just ask her daughter to join a nudist colony.
Did my mother just ask her daughter to join a NUDIST COLONY.

Hmph...Orthodox Iyers?...Iyer Shmyer

So I guess,Sunday's going to be the day,I blind everyone with my peachy look and silver embroidery.

Hyderbad is a wonderful place.Great weather.Lousy crowd.My younger sister,her friend A and his friend N and I were at a place that vaguely resembled bikes at around four this evening.N is 17 years old, doing architecture with a perpetual "What am I doing with you people" expression.This is how our conversation went.
N-"So where are you guys from?"
P-"Madras.(I'm not used to Chennai.Chennai I say only as a slip of the tongue.)
N-"Oh god, you guys moved there?
P-"No....uh..we were born have lived there all our lives
N-"Your kidding right?
P-"Uh..No"
N-"Oh....But why Chennai?"

It was a combination of being surprised and amused for me.I was trying very hard not to snap off her neck and smiled politely.She continued.

N-"So I was there last year for three days in summer.It was so hot.Just had to get away from there.Hyderbad is so much better.'
Alright.If 45 degrees C is more appealing than 40...

I was glad she was the only Hyderbadi I met.And she wasn't North Indian too.Atleast they have an excuse.They're North Indian.But this woman..A class apart.

The other day,I was sitting in Anoki and this old balding fat french guy sat behind us.
"Dees plaze Chen-naai ees soo dartee end so gonchested.I jest lurve New York.Ze buildings and ze lights."

Well first,They should learn how to pronounce names. And Really...Nobody asked them to come here.I detest people who visit this city and complain about the traffic and the heat and the dirt.They should just sit in their clean little houses and drive their nice little cars on the empty freeways.So Madras has a few problems.So what if we don't get Breezers,pubs close at 11-30,it gets a tad bit hot in summer and women can't talk about premarital sex.We are more than that.And superficial we are not.

Madras Nalla Madras...

Sigh...