Somehow beer is not the best thing while on a diet (which I plan to start..eventually), but beer is the answer to all problems in life. It does contribute to a loose mouth but that can be eventually sorted out with apologetic texts the next morning and avoiding people for a month or two.

I've reached the pinnacle of laziness when I roll over on my chair from my desk to my work bench to pick up stuff from it. The rolling part is fine because I'm glad that the chair actually decides to move inspite of the weight. However, rolling into the 3 feet trashcan is not fun. I haven't perfected my movements to completely avoid it, so trash-can-crashes are a part of my day to day activities.

I am a self-confessed-klutz. I cannot open packets, packages and boxes the normal way. Not once in my life have I opened a bag of chips with my hands. I always rip off the cover with my teeth and think to myself 'Ok they still work, but not when you're 70'. But then again, I love opening things. Even if it isn't for me. I have to ask my mother if I was one of those kids at birthday parties who used to cry to open the birthday kid's presents. I'm also very bad with plastic wrap. By the time I cut a piece out of it, I've pretty much crumpled the entire roll onto my scissors and fingers. Throw in aluminum foil and parafilm to the list. And let me NOT get started on cellotape.
So anyway, I got a box of T-25 flasks and a box of huge autoclave bags (we throw our nasty stuff in there and sterilize it in a big big pressure cooker to avoid world contamination). I take the cardboard box, put it on my desk and whip out a razor blade and start cutting the cellotape with murderous glee. I open the box, successfully and pull out my autoclave bag (which is massive to say the least), except it is ripped in 5 different places. And so is the second. And third. And fourth. But atleast it stopped there. My dumb blades and frantic excitement cost me 4 bags but what the heck. Paula suggested I wear it as a halloween costume. So then I set off cutting the bag to wear as a dress. And I did! And it fit! And if people ask me -
"Its because I'm a dirty dirty girl" (In a fake British accent)
With a lascivious wink of course.