And She's back after a rather silent and gloomy hiatus.

I'm done with my Gre and Toefl and I really feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.Literally.I dont have to carry my Barrons around anymore and the perpetual fear of denting my scapula has now disappeared.
I am now free to return to my daily exciting activities of
1) Reading 'Go Fug Yourself' like a million times
2) Removing a million ticks from my dogs
3) Trying to reach the Million mark on the number of burgers I eat at Baywatch

For all the promotional word-of-mouth activity that I do for the place,I still haven't received any discount,let alone a suitable discount.

I was confounded with the silliest doubts as I did my Analytical Writing section.I had forgotten how to spell 'perceive'.Somehow 'percieve' looked right.And then I asked myself if I had spelt 'receive' right.I spent ten minutes wondering how to spell
1) perceive
2) receive
3) thief
4) necessity
5) business

I didn't know whether the I or the E came first.Double S or a double C.Buisness looked better than Business suddenly.And I started feeling extremely nostalgic about my dictation tests in school.A wrong time to start daydreaming but I was glad I did.It eased my tension to a certain extent.

But the nail biting wreck in me is still alive as I search aimlessly for a course to do my Masters in.Almost all colleges state clearly that "We do not offer assistantships to M.S students." or "No financial aid is available yet for this course".And they also ask for a Subject Gre.The bastards!I find my perfect course and it offers either no funding or it asks for a Subject Gre.I want to scream and cry because just when you think its over, it hits you that its just the start.I dont have answers for many questions...

• Will I get an admit?
• Will I get aid?
• An assistantship?
• Is this what I really want to do in my life?
• What is it that I want to do?
• What course do I want to do?
• Should I do a Masters or a Phd?
• Should I do a Phd for the simple reason that its easier to get aid that way?
• Do I see myself doing research?
• What are the job oppurtunities after I'm done?
• What do I write in my SOP when I still dont know why I took Biotech?
• Can I burn down all the colleges that ask for a Subject Gre?
• Will the above mentioned be an expensive and dangerous process?
• Will someone else help me atleast send bomb hoaxes to those colleges?
• What am I going to do my final year project on?
• Which teachers should I get my recommendation letters from?

The list goes on..

Never mind.
I should stop the rambling.
Looks like nothings changed.
Sigh